cinderella story ‘24
What’s up you hoe asses. Last week went just as expected losing every pick possible. It literally says on the homepage, “set the bar low” and boy was I successful. Starting the year off with a big ole goose egg, can’t get any worse than that. After pounding about 12 slurpees from the Circle K and doing a whole lot of introspection to cope with the brutal showing, I’ve had an epiphany; if you pick the fighters that lose, you don’t win any money. That’s my bad guys, I didn’t know that. This week given this new profound knowledge, prepare for one of the greatest comeback stories in the history of picking UFC fights. As the great Kenny Powers once said, “There have been many comebacks throughout history. Jesus was dead, but then came back as an all-powerful God zombie”. Amen Brother.
I watched all of the embedded episodes while I was cutting weight this morning which could have hindered my senses a little bit but let me tell ya, the Tecia Torres, Raquel Pennington power lesbo UFC couple was really doin it for me. I don’t know if that will factor into the picks at all but just thought it was worth stating. Anyways, while I was watching I also noticed that Du Plessis just lives in Strickland’s head. Watching Strickland say, “dick to dick” multiple times to him was pretty cringe worthy. I think Sean mentally broke already after that sweet “you’re dad fucked you” burn Du Plessis had on him. Roast! Speaking of cutting weight, I’ll quote my main man Badlands Chugs and say, “Enough talkin” Lets get to the picks. As always, top three picks and reasoning for each of them in the low part.
#1: Brad Katona and Mike Malott Parlay -114: I’m pretty confident in this one guys which given my track record you might wanna consider fading. However, if you decide to ride my reasoning for Malott is one he’s got the home crowd advantage which I believe is huge. The UFC definitely wants the hometown boys to win always, imo. Two, he’s pretty damn good, he finishes everybody and Neil Magny has been on his way out for a while. Katona, on the other hand, you might remember for being on TUF. The dude’s an absolute nut, but man can he fight. The guy just slugs it out and after that showing in the finale to win it, I’m not going against him until he climbs up the rankings.
#2: Dricus Du Plessis by KO +240: This one I have mixed emotions with. After watching Du Plessis absolutely demolish Whittaker, I feel like theres literally no way he doesn’t sleep Strickland. However, I will say I think I have bet against Strickland in all of his wins so I wouldn’t be surprised if he does it again. If it weren’t for Strickland and Belal Muhammad, I think I’d have a house in Nantucket by now. Lastly, Du Plessis started as a slight underdog and now is up to a pick ‘em so the money is on him and the over/under is at 1.5 rounds. You think that’s cuz of Strickland’s power? No way.
#3: Taveras vs Sidey to go the distance +170: I wanted to add a pick with some juice and I kinda like this one. These guys literally just fought each other. I feel like they should know what the other will do so with that logic, I think they’ll be more strategic and go the distance this time. Also, both guys have pretty solid chins as well.
If you guys don’t ride with me at my lowest this week, I understand just don’t expect me to talk to you ever again.
- Kimbo Slice
