“I’m giving life one more chance” -hannah Baker
Alright guys title says it all, this is it. Either go off this week or potentially retire from the UFC and life. I’m gonna be honest, I haven’t been that bad I went big on Klose and Figs last time but just unacceptable going 1-2 on the first post. Also to throw salt on the wounds I went 3 for 3 on the last card with Yadong, Rountree and Elliot which is worse than going 0-3 considering I didn’t post it. I celebrated each winning pick followed by a minute of calling myself stupid and hitting myself in the head like Chris Farley. With only one year left of college, I need to start hitting big now so I can retire before I need to get a real job or else I’m totally fucked. If you have any good job ideas send them to me on LinkedIn @PabloChicone/linkedin.com. I thought I’d get some luck for the first time but boy was I wrong. Not only did I watch my bets lose in dramatic fashion but I think I could be charged as an accomplice to murder having witnessed the Bobby Green and Dariush knockouts. Am I a bit sadistic for being a little happy watching the ref nearly let Bobby Green die in the octagon for about 2 days after he already lost? Maybe. But in the wise words of Ivan Drago, “If he dies, he dies”. Let’s be honest he kinda deserved a little bit of it too after how cocky he was with all that extra curricular bs between flurries. Betting Bobby Green might’ve been the worst decision I’ve made since deciding to not get a haircut last year cuz I thought I’d look like Tim Riggins. Also, before I wrap up my thoughts on the last card I gotta touch on the fact that Kevin James had to have been bricked up watching those knockout slams back to back. I didn’t think that move worked unless you were trying to save the Fonz’s music program. If u haven’t seen Here Comes The Boom, fuck you.
Alright now for the good part gonna change the format a bit for this one. Three best picks and my reasoning for each of them below.
#1: For the number one pick this card I’m going good ole fashion 2 leg lay. We’re going Andre Fili and Cody Garbrandt. Both are pretty big favorites but put em together to get about +130 odds…prettay prettay good. Both guys also should probably win given the fact that they each are covered up to the neck in tattoos. I’m not sure they’re fit for any other profession so it’s in both their best interests financially. Also worth noting that Brian Kelleher may have the most wild tattoo in the promotion. If Kelleher can beat Garbrandt, Jesus should get a tattoo of Kelleher on his chest. It’s only right.
#2: Gonna go straight bet on this one, less fun but winning is fun and this one’s winning…Colby Covington. How bout the sack on this fella? Just rippin dead dad jokes outta left field at the presser. Regardless of the charade Colby puts on before the fight, real fans know the fact of the matter is that Covington works his nuts off. I heard from an inside source that he brings his own organic snacks around with him and refuses to break his diet year round. Colby’s pressure is gonna be too much for the champ and I think he’s too fundamentally sound to get caught by a big one. I’m going Colby by decision in this one. And New.
#3: Shavkat by Sub
This one pains me because I’ve always been a huge Wonderboy fan but just gotta be real here. Shavkat is the biggest 170 pounder I’ve ever seen. There’s no way he feels any pain cuz he’s gotta be cutting about 100 pounds to make this weight. My logic for this one is Thompson was ground and pounded for all three rounds by Belal and I think Shavkat will get him down even easier. If Shavkat for some reason decides to stand with him he should fire his whole coaching staff and hire me cuz even I’m smart enough to know that you’re not beating an undefeated kick boxer in a striking battle, he’s too long and fast. Thompson’s like a real-life version of Daniel LaRusso. Shavkat’s also finished every single fight he’s had so me picking him to win by finish might be the best thing I can do as a Wonderboy fan knowing my luck.
HM picks if you like fun:
Ferguson ML #cso: The best part of Paddy’s game is his walkout other than that the dude is beyond beatable so great odds in this one. However, I don’t know if Tony can beat anyone anymore. Except Khabib obviously.
Josh Emmett ML: another one with juicy odds. Emmett is super tough and Mitchell is coming in on short notice so could be worth risking it.
Thanks for reading, see you guys next card. Hopefully.
-Stephen Glansburg
